The Roller Coaster (days 2 - 13th)

This has been an very interesting 11 days.

    As I type this out hunger is constantly reminding me that my intake is not what it use to be.  Water has become my friend in keeping my stomach full yet it has forced me to pull over and find the nearest fast food restaurant to use the urinal.  Fast food has become a liability in my head.  As long as I pack my lunch, I can look past the fast food.  If I know I have something to eat there is no reason to go in there and be tempted.  Alcohol is all but cut out from my life.  It has sugars in it, and even if some don't, the lowered inhibition thing will SURELY lead to a 4x4 animal burger in my belly at 2am.

    With in the first 10 days I have lost 11 pounds!  People have been asking what's different.  Most say it's coming off my face first.  It's definitely positive to hear but I try not to listen. I don't like to have any sense of accomplishment because I want to be satisfied when I hit my goal of 199.

    My daily food regiment includes; One slice a wheat and cold cuts for breakfast.  A protein snack. Then lunch I will eat chicken, veggies, and some cottage cheese.  Another protein snack.  Dinner usually is chicken (again) and more veggies.  Late night snack is a protein smoothie.   My total carb intake needs to be at around 70-79.  My exercise is usually light walking or some work on the elliptical machine.

    Most people notice another change... my attitude.  It's hard to keep in check, but as of late of have been in a pretty bad mood.  Having to keep the hunger in check keeps my brain working in overtime.  Simple tasks get harder because I'm constantly being bothered by hunger.  Also, my energy level has dropped a TON.  So not only am I in a bad mood but it feels like I have to put in more effort into doing basic tasks.  

    Usually this would make me want to QUIT.  But seeing the scale get lower and lower it the pay off.  Soon enough my clothes will be pretty loose and I will be happy to look better.  I will be more willing to be more active now that my joints are not as strained.

    Often my football coach would say, "If was easy everyone would do it."  I know putting in the hard work now will pay off in the long run.  It's pushing the doubt and hunger aside and looking into the FUTURE self.  Confronting the Ricky of 5 years from now and agreeing that the image I see can only be accomplished by the hard work now.  Also, looking at the Ricky of 10 years ago, and seeing how disappointed I would be if I KNEW then that I would get this bad.  Knowing I had higher standards 10 years ago helps me remember how much I valued my health and helps restore that state of mind.

    As of right now I'm about 239.  I have been working more and a little less focused in the diet.  No matter what I have to put the weight loss #1 priority over everything else.  More now than ever.  I cannot let doubt and hunger knock me off this crazy roller coaster of emotions and weight loss.  I have to look at the end of the tracks and see that when I'm done with the wild ride, I can set my foot on solid ground and be happy for the ride and even happier to be done with!